Seventh Son - Review

What did Jeff Bridges say?

That's what I was asking myself through nearly half of this movie. And the other thing I was asking myself: Why am I watching this movie? 

The Plot

When an evil witch queen named Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore) escapes from imprisonment, it is up to the last Spook, Master Gregory (Jeff Bridges), to stop her. But to do so, he must recruit a new apprentice to continue the legacy of the Spooks. That apprentice must be a seventh son of a seventh son. And that apprentice is Tom Ward (Ben Barnes). Master Gregory must train Tom in the art of the Spooks in time to combat the growing forces of darkness, before it is too late.

Review

People know that I have a huge problem with modern fantasy films, post Lord of the Rings. My article, Why "The Lord of the Rings" film trilogy ruined fairy tale movies, goes in depth about my problems. Basically I always felt that fantasy films shouldn't try to be grand with CGI armies and the need to create an ensemble of heroes. And this film goes back to the basic standards of classic Ray Harryhausen fantasy storytelling: a simple battle between a handful of heroes versus one powerful villain, with about three monsters standing in the way. Simple. The problem with this movie though? It was TOO simple. Like anyone in the audience can predict what was going to happen, even to the point of what people were going to say.

I felt like my five year old self writing a script and seeing it come to life as I think. But then I remember my writing level as a five year old is more complex than what was shown here. Anyone below the age of five could've made a far more interesting story than this one. Which is a shame because I know this is based on a book, and I feel really bad for the author, knowing that his work has been devolved into the seed of a story instead of a fully grown story. There was a lot of potential here in doing an updated fantasy take of "the hero's journey," but instead it is just a very baby steps approach of "the hero's journey."

I wish I can say the acting of two powerhouse actors saved this movie. But they don't. Jeff Bridges and Juliane Moore are two of the best veteran actors a director could dream of having in their movie. But here, they seem to know they are in something horrible because they both over act and chew the scenery. Bridges is once again playing a more drunk version of his character from True Grit, Rooster Cogburn. Which was good for True Grit. It is not good for this movie. Especially if the character is so drunk that I could barely understand a word Bridges was saying. And Moore is pretty much playing a more trashy version of Maleficent. Which, it's cool that she's straight up evil with a very small redeemable quality, but she was just over exaggerating her evilness. To give a good comparison, when Angelina Jolie played Maleficent as evil, it is classy and poisonous. Moore was not classy and just psychotic. Which doesn't work well for a queen of the witches. Especially if all the other witches appear more classy than her.

Then there's our main character played by Ben Barnes and his love interest, Alice, played by Alicia Vikander. These two are obviously very talented actors. The big problem is their material is so thin that they couldn't prevent it from being boring. And if two juggernaut acting talents like Bridges and Moore couldn't elevate the script, how much more can these two rising stars? There are some cool moments for Antje Traue, who plays Malkin's sister and Alice's mother, and Djimon Hounsou, who plays Malkin's primary dragon henchman. But pretty much everyone else in the movie was just there for service and no real development. Even Game of Thrones fan favorite, Kit Harrington, appears at the beginning of the movie, but his part could've easily had been removed and would add nothing to the plot.

Pretty much the first hour of this movie is just dreadful, yet by some miracle the following 30 minutes were pretty entertaining (which is where ALL of the action takes place), only to fall apart flat on its face in the final 15 minutes. The movie would've been better if the first hour was condensed to the first 30 minutes, and the exciting 30 minutes elongated to an hour, with the final 15 minutes being changed into something else completely.

Final Thoughts

I know I said I wanted a simple good versus evil fantasy story. But I didn't want something so... pedestrian. This film could've benefited more from a more proficiently written script. The entertainment doesn't come in till after the first hour, and chances are you will have fallen asleep before the entertaining part comes. And if you do wake up in time for the entertaining part, you'll feel like waking up wasn't worth it because of how abrupt the excitement ends. I know the director of this film is a talented Russian director, but unfortunately his American debut feels like it was made by business men rather than people with talent.

SCORE: 3/10 - The 3 is for having good vs evil, not that many monsters, and simple...it's bad